Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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