so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
