so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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