Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
