He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
