I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
