I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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