would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
