I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
