He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
