Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
