If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
