I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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