she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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