Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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