i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
