For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
