Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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