a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
