can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
