The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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