the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
