is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
