Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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