real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize