You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
