you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize