The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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