haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
