I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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