Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
