can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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