New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
