This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
