I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
