I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
