That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
