Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
