He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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