I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
