Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Pants are for mortals
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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