Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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