in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
