i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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