shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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