Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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