I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
