I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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