It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
