i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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