thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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