Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
