You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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