elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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