i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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