I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
