How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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