So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
