All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
