Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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