Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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