I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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