How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
