even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
