i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
