Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
