I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We left the knife in your bed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
