isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
