Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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